Friday, April 17, 2009

Opaque Purple Tights

Her phone vibrated.
Call me when you're on your way.

She sighed and thought about the evening with dread. 

I'd rather just stay in bed and sleep.

Opening her closet, she quickly skimmed through her clothes. It was cold outside. She didn't feel
like socializing, faking smiles, and looking pretty. She grabbed her long-sleeved grey woolen dress and a pair of purple tights.

She always found a way to distract herself. Whether it was some
light shopping or spending the day with one of the girls. Her number one rule nowadays was to not get too attached. After all, everyone whom she had ever gotten close to seemed to find a way to hurt her. I never allowed myself to miss you.

She took her time while applying her makeup. Slowly contemplating...

She was went out all the time, forcing herself to socialize, going out with random people, studying when there was nothing to study for, hanging out with mutual friends... She didn't have time to miss him. She repressed the memory of him. Them, for far too long. 

She remembered the box he got her. She got up and went to her dresser.
She took out the little brown box from the back of her sock drawer and slowly opened it. It was still there. Shiny and sparkling in the light.

As she was taking it out; the memory of him overwhelmed her. 

I can't. I just can't. I miss you too much. I miss how your smell, your laugh, the way you say"okay" like you meant it, your obsession about everything football..

She put it back, got up and finished getting ready. As she left, she wiped a tear that seemed to escape. 


Repression is just a defense mechanism, the memory is bound to catch up with us.