Sunday, November 20, 2011

C'est l'amour.

I never quite understood how people can spare their loved ones upsetting matters for the sake of their happiness. I am a very open person with those around me yet sometimes, no matter how much I want to, I choose to keep troubling issues to myself. We all have some kind of coping mechanism that we use to deal with all the dark matter inside and around us that usually doesn't change depending on who we're with.

The main reason why I stopped sharing is because I don't like to upset those I love. Apparently, I have been deluded before in thinking that whatever affects me won't affect those nearby. Upon that realization, I became even more blue and completely shut off.

My logical self doesn't approve of asking for help in matters that nobody really has a hand in or can provide a solution. It seems irrelevant to share. I don't like people complaining because it's an unnecessary waste of time that could be spent changing whatever it is they're complaining about. And, if it cannot be changed or helped - then it be best to move on.

On a completely evolutionary level, I don't like feeling vulnerable. No matter how confident one can be, he/she can never truly feel secure about sharing the black holes in our soul, mind, or heart especially with those that mean the most to us.

After this long process of cognizance, it dawned on me that this is what love is really all about. Selfless sacrifice of your sadness for their smiles and spirit.

So please, don't let me down.*

*As I was writing this up, Don't Let Me Down by The Beatles played on my iTunes. 

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