Saturday, September 06, 2008

Too little, too late.

Fat horizontal pink-white stripes on top of thin vertical purple stripes interrupted with some grey..

I'm waiting for you to call. To explain. You aren't going to or maybe you are? I can't tell anymore. I never know with you. You've always disappointed me. Yet, I don't know why I still believe in you. Or believe you for that matter. I guess it's one of those things that I can't choose not to do. That sucks.

Excuses, excuses, excuses. That's all I seem to be getting from you. What do I want besides the truth - how about maybe a simple explanation? You seem to have some absurd idea that I'm high maintenance or that I ask for a lot. I'm not and I don't. YOU, on the other hand, sometimes are. It takes so much energy and patience to put up with you. Put up with might sound a bit harsh but at the moment it's the only word I have in mind. However, sometimes it's nought but the truth.

I hate that all I ever did for you has gone by unnoticed. I hate that you don't make me a priority. I hate that you always jokingly accuse me of not caring. I, sometimes, even hate you. It took so much consideration and thought for me to just do this all over again. And I'm sorry to say that I regret it. And I hate regretting things that I've done.

Thank god you know I'm mad at you. And that I might not talk to you anytime soon. Thank god that you are so ashamed of yourself that you can't even call me. I'm not enjoying this, believe me I'm not. I'm just glad that you have finally come around.

Lime green thin stripes on top of all the greyish-purple stripes..

Too little, too late.

Things are different now. So much stuff in my life have changed. It's amazing how you think you're going to come back and find me exactly the same.

I look different. I have long hair. I wear glasses. My style changed. If you were just to sit and compare..

I was even much more different back then. But you never noticed and never asked. I don't know why that didn't tip me off. I guess I never cared, I only seemed to cared about you.

It's sad that I always asked about you and you never asked about me.
It's sad that you left the country and never told me. You left me worried sick and when you found out you laughed. I didn't seem to care about that either. I stuck with you all the way till the end.
It's also sad that you came back and didn't bother to tell me either. I found out by accident. I repeat
by accident. Again I ignored that little detail and just welcomed you home.

But then you disappeared. And when I say disappeared I mean vanished for a while. I just kept telling myself that maybe something happened, maybe you got super busy, maybe you didn't have time etc. Then I just couldn't handle it. I gave myself the green light. I was done. I really did want to end it but you weren't there. So I ended it in my head. I even started to get over it. Yet the minute I took that step forward, you came running along. As if you knew.

It's weird that you aren't a priority anymore. I stopped wondering, caring, even thinking about you. I'm at a loss. I don't know what is going to happen. What I know is that at the moment I can't be with you. Let's try being friends. That might work. At least better than what we have going..

Thin stripes in all shades of pink over thick red and orange stripes..

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

He is an asshole, period.

do0da said...

cant bring myself to judge some1 i dont knw, in the end do what u think is best

Ex-clamation Mark said...

Thanks for the comments you guys =)

Balqees said...

well he's sounds like a asshole

o allah ygweek :D

Anonymous said...

Aw,sweetie!!


Hunny, I remember once that the guy I loved had traveled. Then I recall being all troubled and worried like hell And guess what??! He came back without telling me; I knew later on through his friend. Your entry just kind of reminded me of that. Oh, and months after that he just called out of nowhere and began to laugh and joke around as if nothing happened. I feel you dear; I really do. It was a pleasure reading through your blog though and at the same time be able to relate to it...

*hugs*

Ex-clamation Mark said...

It's a pleasure reading your comments =)