I can officially say it's over. I can't say that I feel good but at the same time I don't exactly feel bad about it. I don't regret it as much as I thought I did, which is good. I guess...
It was awful though, I wasn't expecting a perfect break-up, if there is such a thing anyway, but I really wasn't expecting his reaction to be like this. Obviously, he isn't supposed to be pleased but he isn't supposed to get all defensive and weird. Seriously, I never saw him like this and believe me that's saying a lot. All that is irrelevant though, I can finally say I'm single and actually mean it.
If I didn't take a step forward and end it when I did then this would have dragged on for much longer and someone was bound to get hurt. By someone, I mean nobody else except me.
I'm grateful for all my friends that were there for me; the ones that knew what was going on, and the ones that didn't. I thank god that I have friends that helped me go through tough decisions and stuff like this.
Last but not least, I just want to say thank you for saying this: "I have nothing to say to you". I don't know which is more sad, that you actually meant it or that after two years this is all you have to say to me...
5 comments:
Hi :)
I don't know you, but i stumbled upon your blog. Your previous post was what caught my eye. i believe you're a very courageous girl for taking the first step out. allow me to applaud you! i've been in this same situation. i know the amount of stress. i know the feeling of eating your heart out. i know the calculating that goes in. i know the thinking of what will be tomorrow. i know of canceling and adding hope to the ongoing shenanigan.
But when you allow yourself to see the light at the end of the tunnel, you wouldn't want the darkness again. as hard as it is, it really relies on you. you're gonna miss it? sure. you're gonna regret ever leaving? sure. you're gonna hope that by mistake he dials your number? hell yea. but each time you feel weak, keep yourself together cuz you already know whats gonna happen in the end. how many times did you allow yourself to go back and expected a change, but was disappointed?
all that, takes from you. and i wish i can say the 'getting over' is just like ripping off a band-aid (momentarily) but its gonna require some work from you're end.
there's someone out there for you, maybe its him (but the time isn't right), maybe its someone else. for me, i felt that its best if i just pulled the plug and surrendered. its going on one year since i left. see, i'm still counting, but the thing is i'm out.
whether you follow me or you don't, its your choice. whatever you choose, you have friends by your side who love, understand, and support you, myself included :)
(sorry if this is an inconvenience) but i thought i'd share..
God Bless!
you know, my soulmate of seven years and husband to be at the time just decided there was not much to say to me or about us once it was over. and that was after 7 years::: imagine!
the true side of him came out and all i can say is that you are better off knowing this is the kind of person he is!!!
Gone Bonkers:
Thanks a lot, it's nice to know that I'm not alone in this because I have got to say it was and still is the hardest and most awkward situation I have ever been in and once you are part of that it's like a never-ending cycle and totally hurts to try to get out because in the end you honestly care and love the person =/
Anonymous:
The least I can say is that I'm better off -_-
Allow me to applaud you because you're really brave!!
If the relationship was just painful and going only to a dead end, what you did was the best especially that he was an asshole throwing words every now and then even if they weren't bad words!
It's true I don't know you but I am glad you did. I have been advising one of my friends to do the same but I guess she is not courageous enough! It's a waste of ime and she knows it but she is just in denial!!
*hugs* *hugs* *hugs*
Don't ever cry or feel bad for him!!
I don't really see it as being brave, because this was inevitable - I mean there is an end to everything and it was just my turn to end it.
Yeah it's really hard to take her out of her denial, that's what I went through. My friends would yell at me constantly but I was happy in my world of denial.
I can't help but feel bad, seriously I can't help it.
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