A dream is a wish your heart makes..I hate that I had never had a dream to follow after high school. I knew I wanted to go to college but I never had the whole dream thing. You always hear people saying “Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted to be an engineer (doctor, interior designer, lawyer, etc.)”. And they would complete the story by talking about their college and how they had always dreamed about going and eventually lived up to that dream. Oddly, it makes me jealous to have never had a dream to be able to put it in action or to work for.
Even the college I chose, I didn’t really choose but sort of fell into. I use fell into for lack of a better way to describe the situation. I worked for it and I knew that ultimately and eventually knew it would be the college for me. But you can call that “a lack of choice”.
Ever since I was little (yes, you get to hear my “Ever since I was little” story), I thought I would be majoring in English or English Literature. Nothing else was even an option to me. I loved reading, it was a hobby that I had for a very long time. In third grade, I read over 200 books in one school year. I remember that very well. Even when I came back here, I never stopped reading. Up until these past couple of years. I haven’t stopped reading completely. It just takes me a really long time to finish a book, and so I read much less books than before. I hate that I don’t read like before but I really can’t seem to find time which is basically saying nothing seeing as I find time to watch One Tree Hill and House -_-
My point for this post is to basically just ask the question, can having a dream really make you happy? I’ve been reconsidering my major and college for some time now. I hate to think that I made a mistake because it’s kind of too late to take it back. I also hate the fact that maybe this isn’t what I want to do; maybe it’s not my dream. That thought alone just scares me.
If not this then what else? Why did I think about going to this Business college for the past two years? Why did I think that even if I end up going to KSU, that at least their business department was in English and I wouldn’t have to worry about doing well. In the end, this isn’t what I always dreamed I would be doing or where I would be going and for some reason that scares me. Makes me think that this isn’t what I should be doing.
- And yes I am quoting Disney -_-