Vested Interest [Part 2]

[Part 1]

...you didn't know it was my favorite song? What kind of permanent girlfriend are you!

What the hell is a permanent girlfriend...?

I don't know I just made it up. It could, however, mean a girl who I consider to be close to me no matter what the current circumstances are.

I love how we just exist, she said sarcastically and full of contempt.

Well it's a comfortable relationship, he said matter-of-fact-ly.

She got angry at his overbearance and nonchalance.

Why didn't this mean anything to him? Why wasn't he serious? Why couldn't he at least try and fix it with me? If we aren't over, then why aren't we together?!

Is it because there are no strings attached? Or because we don't talk? Or because it's long distance?

No strings attached is always good. We don't talk unless we have something to talk about and we manage to communicate without words effectively aaaand it's not long distance all the time.

He was so, what was the word? ...practical? Why did he make it seem like she was just another thing to scratch out on his to-do list. And his stoic-ness! His cool was simply infuriating! 

So what's going to happen?

I told you, I don't know.

What do you mean you don't know? I have to know.

I can't have you as a friend.

There's an obvious solution to that problem.

Oh yeah? Please point it out to the blonde me.

How about this, how about I see you tomorrow and we talk about it then? Sound good?

No.

Just believe me on this, okay?

Why aren't you listening to a word I say? Listen to me.

I'm listening.

The friends thing isn't going to work, obviously and I don't want anything else to happen... We aren't together Y. I can't just pretend we are.

First of all, there's no reason why we can't be friends and there's no reason why you can't see me as a friend. That's first of all. Secondly, we may not be formally together but will it make it any better if we were? Will it make it any better if I told you now, Ex I wanna get back together with you? No, it won't. But we still feel this attraction between us. I've felt it ever since I started talking to you as my girl. Sure, it was on and off at times, but it has withstood more than a year so why the fuck are you telling me to deny it? Why are you telling me that we should deny ourselves what we already have? We owe it to ourselves to make the most of these few rare opportunities but again, it's your choice and I don't want to pressure you. If I'm not going to see you tomorrow night, I'll be upset but I won't lose you over it.

Being a man of little words, his long speech caught her completely off guard. Her body froze and the confusion had mounted up to the point where she couldn't feel anything anymore. Her heart stopped sinking, stopped pounding. She had to listen closely to feel the dull thumps once again. 

Why does he insist on this...this confusion! I can't deal with the grey anymore, I want everything in black and white. Crystal clear. Why is he doing this to me? He knows exactly how I feel...

You know I still have feelings for you, you know that I would take you back in a heartbeat, you know all that. I don't need to remind you. It's just I can't take the hurt anymore. I'm sick of the drama. I repeat, I don't know.

No pressure.

[P.S. If any of you might have noticed, I used a lot of words the wrong way (whether in meaning, grammatically incorrect-ness or sentence structure) just for the sake of wanting to use them so please excuse that]